It’s over
Summer 2000
It was a long month in Rhode Island. I have never taught so much in my life. It was far more exhausting then I had previously thought. My friends in Rhode Island are workaholics. They’re on a whole other level. Not sure how I kept up with it them for a whole month.
I didn’t speak to Atlanta much while I was in Rhode Island. I spoke to her maybe once or twice the entire trip. I was so exhausted from teaching and training. I would pass out the moment I got home.
I needed to make a decision about what I was going to do with our relationship. If we kept going at this pace, we would never survive. I thought about her everyday. I always told her I was going to change or make things better but never delivered. So this time I was just going to show her. I decided when I got back home, I would teach full time at the karate school again and propose to her when we got back on our feet.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Even though I’ve written a lot about all of our bad times. She was a sweet caring and giving girl. I knew once she felt that I loved her how I used to love her. She would remember how she once felt for me.
I was finally done with my month long iron man teaching marathon. I was ready to come home and get my life together. I wanted to be a better person for Atlanta. I was excited to see her and couldn’t wait to kiss her again. My fire for her was burning bright again.
When I got home. Atlanta was at work still. So I went to the karate school and asked for a full time position teaching. They accepted. I was feeling really optimistic.
Atlanta came home and I was so happy to see her. She looked tired so I didn’t smother her with love. Atlanta was bit a distant. Which was understandable. She probably had a rough day at work and I haven’t had a serious conversation with her in a month. It didn’t bother me that she was distant. I would turn this all around in due time.
That night she wasn’t interested in being physical with me. Which I thought was weird. We haven’t seen each other in a month. She pushed me away and told me she was tired. I deserved it for ignoring her for so long. We slept back to back that night.
The next day while Atlanta was at work. I was using her laptop to check some mail. I noticed that she had some pictures on her desktop. It was a bunch of pictures of a friend of mine. Something was definitely up.
That night when she came home I confronted her about what was going on. She told me she had met someone else. My heart sank. I had taken down my wall and was going to commit my life to her. I was completely vulnerable. She told me it was my friend (Turtle). She said that since I haven’t spoken to her in a month she didn’t know what was going on.
She had been talking to Turtle the whole time I was gone. He was there for her when she was lonely. I told her about my plans and that I was going to make things better. I didn’t want to tell her because I always told her before but never followed through. This time I just wanted to show her. She was upset that I didn’t tell her. She would have thought twice about being with someone else.
I didn’t bother begging for her to stay. I just grabbed my keys and left the house. I was destroyed. I couldn’t believe it. She totally gave up on me. Now she was with another friend of mine. Not only was he my friend. He was the guy that was beating me at every tournament. I saw him every month.
I didn’t shed a tear though. I was trying to accept what was going on. I got to my friends house. I told him what had happen. I needed to get out of the house and be far away from her. We played video games a coupe of hours. Trying to get my mind settled. I finally was ready to go back home.
When I got home. Atlanta and I spoke about what we would do next. I had promised Atlanta from the beginning of our relationship that no matter what happened to us, She could stay with me until she got on her feet. So she pulled the card on me.
I was a man of my word. So I let her stay with me until she could move out. She would sleep on the bed and I would sleep on the couch in our room. We would still be sleeping in the same room. In case my parents noticed something was up and kick her out.
The next week would be hell for me. She would be getting calls from Turtle and would go another room to talk with him for what felt like hours. It hurt me to see her take his calls. It drove me crazy thinking about her talking to him.
At night she would be typing away on her laptop to him while I was in the room. I was such a tool. She didn’t seem to care about my feelings. She was in her own world. I would glance over and see her smile. She would giggle sometimes. I just lay there trying to do my own thing. I guess this was pay back for all the nights I made her sleep alone.
One night she took it too far. I had figured out how to ignore her by going to sleep with my headphones on. In the middle of the night my headphones had fallen off my head. I woke up for a minute. I heard her talking on the phone to him. She thought I was asleep. I pretended to stay asleep. I wanted to torture myself.
It was the one of the hardest nights of my life. She held nothing back during her conversation. She spoke about missing him, going to visiting him, things she would do to him, her plans to move there. It was cruel and unusual punishment. I listened to the whole conversation. I didn’t say one word to her. She finally said good night. My night of torture was finally over.
The next day I told her she had to move out. She was upset and asked me why I kicking her out. I told her that I heard her whole conversation the night before. She was shocked and told me that she thought I was asleep and was sorry that I heard them talking. I told her it didn’t matter and she needed to leave by the weekend.
I spent the rest of the week sleeping in another room. I should have been sleeping there to begin with. But we were still living with my parents and I didn’t want them to kick her out. I should have just kicked her out the moment I found out.
Before she moved out. We sat in her car one day and had a conversation about everything that was happening. I hated her for putting me through all of this, but I still had to make sure it was completely over. I asked to her if it was truly over.
“It’s over”. She said with a tear falling from her eye
After a couple of days of seeing her take her phones calls outside, hearing her laughter and happiness from where ever I was in the house, she finally moved out.
We still kept in contact for some odd reason. I was too nice. She wanted to be friends and I agreed. A couple of weeks later, she wants to hang out with me because she hasn’t seen me in awhile. I didn’t really want to see her again, but I told her I was going to the mall and she could join me.
So she met me at my house and I drove. I was going to a mall that she didn’t want to go too. She was starting to get upset. Pouting about why we were going to this mall. I wanted to tell her that if she didn’t want to come I can take her back to her car and she can do her own thing. But I didn’t. I just told her that I needed to go there. She reluctantly accepted.
When we got to the mall. She gets a phone call. It was Turtle. She wanted to come spend time with me, but instead she was on the phone with Turtle that whole time. When she finally got off the phone, she was a couple of steps behind me.
“I love you” she told Turtle as she hung up the phone.
I couldn’t believe it. Did she really just say that with me right here with her. I had enough. I took her back to her car and I didn’t speak to her again.
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