Déjà vu
July 2000
Atlanta and I would break up a couple of days later. She was going to see her family and friends back in Florida. She hasn’t seen them since she moved in with me two years ago. We needed the time apart. I would be going to Florida a week after to compete at the US open.
While Atlanta was away, I spent all my time talking to Ohio. I was starting to really get attached to her. My heart transitioned from one girl to another… again.
With Ohio holding my attention, I was completely over Atlanta. Ohio and I had so much in common. She was the complete opposite of Atlanta. Which was perfect timing for me. I needed someone who was the complete opposite of Atlanta, I needed someone to give me attention and I needed to be wanted again.
Before my flight to Florida I thought that I was over Atlanta. But the moment I saw Atlanta in the hotel lobby. I couldn’t help myself. I missed her. I was still in love with her. I wanted try again and make it work.
But of course instead of being intelligent and telling her I would like to work things out. I just decided to be affectionate and give her a lot of attention, which would eventually blow up in my face.
I spent the day trying my best to be the boyfriend that I thought she wanted. I tried to be attentive, loving and sweet. But she wasn’t interested. I wasn’t going to give up. I needed to give it one more shot.
We were together in the Jacuzzi. She looked amazing in her bathing suit. I have not seen her sexually in a couple of weeks. I missed everything about her. I wanted things back they used to be.
She wasn’t having it. She ran from every advance I made. It was the same game that we had played so many times before. I was done. I didn’t need this shit. I had another girl who really wanted to be with me. One who didn’t break my heart and purposely leave me in pain.
I spent every free moment talking on the phone with Ohio. The more time I spent talking to Ohio the more I fell for her. She soothed all the pain and sadness that I was feeling.
The tournament was uneventful for me. I lost my division again. I didn’t go to the finals that night to even watch. I just hung around the hotel talking to Ohio. After the finals were over, everyone headed to the pool. I had roamed around and found myself sitting in the pool area talking to Ohio.
Then all the drama began. With everyone at the pool area, Atlanta decided she was going to try to make me jealous by flirting with one of my friends. She decided to choose a close friend of mine. The guy that said “Kim Do you’re the man” from Atlanta (Double). It didn’t bother me one bit.
I’m not the jealous type. She chose the wrong guy to play with game with All she was doing was proving to me that she wasn’t worth my efforts anymore. As the night went on, she was digging herself a hole. She was leading on the wrong guy. He was a very aggressive guy who hated being cockteased. I knew that she would get herself into trouble and I felt she deserved every bit of what would be coming to her.
A mutual friend of ours (Chris) came up to me while I was on the phone and told me that Atlanta was flirting with Double. He was a good kid. He felt that I would have been bothered by what was going on. I told him that it was ok and let her do her thing. He said ok and walked back to the Jacuzzi.
Ten minutes later. Chris returns and tells me that Atlanta looked uncomfortable with Double and I should go see her. I knew this would happen, she brought this on herself. I told Chris that she wasn’t my problem anymore and he should go talk to her brother to help her out.
Ten more minutes pass and now I’m dragged into the mess. Atlanta is standing in front of me crying. I wanted to so bad to just walk away and teach her a lesson. But I still cared for her. I got off the phone with Ohio and walked towards Atlanta. She looked scared and embarrassed. She stood there with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She played the victim very well and I was always a sucker for it. When I got to her, she leaned into me crying. I stood there for a moment with my arms out. I didn’t want to hold her. But I ended up giving in and put my arms around her.
I sat her down and asked her what had happened. She didn’t say much. She just wanted to leave. I asked her if he had done anything to her. Did her hurt her? I knew that she had taken it too far and that she was partly at fault for what had happened.
No matter how much a girl leads you on. I believe a man should never make a woman feel uncomfortable to the point she is terrified. So I decided to confront Double and hear his side of the story. Atlanta could just be playing me. I always try to see both sides of the story before making a decision.
I told Atlanta that I was going to speak with him. She told me not to go and we should just leave. No way that was going to happen. I needed Double to know what was going on and her to know that I was going find out the truth.
I walked up to Double in the Jacuzzi. There were a lot of people in the Jacuzzi. Everyone knew each other and knew there was drama brewing. Atlanta and Double put on a good show for everyone. I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and told him I needed to speak to him. Everyone in the Jacuzzi thought there was gong to be a fight. He was surprised that I actually approached him. He agreed and we walked to a place where we could speak privately.
He was nervous and wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I told him that I didn’t care what they did and I just wanted to know what happened. He told me that she was flirting with him and when he took things a little farther, but she kept playing with him. I’ve known this guy for the past 5 years. I know how he gets with women.
So before he said anything else I told him that she was crying and felt scared around him. I asked him to just leave her alone for the rest of night. I had no hard feeling towards him because I knew she was using him, but I didn’t tell him that. He agreed and gave me the whole bros before hoes speech. If he really felt that way then he wouldn’t went after her to begin with if we were actually bros. I had lost all respect for him after that night.
I returned to Atlanta and told her that he wouldn’t be bothering her anymore. That she shouldn’t hang around him anymore. I left her with her brother and friends. I walked away from the pool area to talk to Ohio again.
Moments later Atlanta comes around again. How the hell did she find me? This hotel is huge. It takes like 45 minutes to walk around the place. I had also hid myself from everyone. Here we go again.
The next three hours would be spent trying to convince Atlanta that it was over. She wasn’t accepting it. It felt like déjà vu. I wasn’t going to give in this time. She had her chance and decided to play that same stupid game.
I finally convinced her that it was over and walked her to her room. She needed support from her friends. She was crying non-stop for 3 hours. As much as it hurt me to see her cry like that. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was glad to be rid of her for the night.
It was really late. I returned to my room to get some sleep. I crashed hard the moment I laid down. Suddenly I was being woken up by a one of my roommates. I opened my eyes and he told me that Atlanta was here. What the fuck! Can I get a break from this madness? I was exhausted and didn’t want to go outside and talk this out. I just stayed in my bed while she crawled up next to me.
After Fifteen minutes. I gave in. I told her we could work things out and that I was going to visit Ohio. I told Atlanta that I didn’t know how I feeling about her anymore and I had already bought my plane ticket to go see Ohio. So if she could deal with that, then we could see what would happen later. She agreed reluctantly.
The next thing that would happen would be the biggest dick move of my life. Looking back on it. I was a complete asshole for even suggesting it. Atlanta had been asking me if it was ok if she got a tongue ring for the longest time. I always told her that it was stupid and a waste of money. But after being with Ohio, I suggested that she get one. She knew exactly why I suddenly brought up the idea. She didn’t care at the time. She just wanted me back.
Moments later. We walked into the bathroom together and started to have make up sex. It was the most emotional bruising experience of both our lives. She was doing it with me because she wanted to keep me and was she was emotional wreck. I was going through the motions because I was thinking about someone else. It just made the situation worse. We didn’t speak afterwards. We just went back to bed more confused and hurt then ever before.
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